If Only
by LiesjeeeWxX
Summary: Originally an epilogue to a story I haven't posted but I think it can be read on it's own...


**AN: Title inspired by If Only from the Kooks.  
>This little thing was originally meant to be the epilogue of a story I wrote. But that story sucks royal hippogriff so I'm not posting that =D<br>Disclaimer: I own nothing you may recognize. It belongs to JK. **

_And as a child yes I dreamed  
>Of holding her in the silver screen<br>She loved her man and loved him twice  
>I wish I'd been that passenger<br>Having fun, fly my kite  
>The devil inside won't control my life<br>Too much love, so little hate  
>The devil inside won't control my fate<em>

_Oh, if only, if only  
>Oh, he wasn't so lonely<br>He'd have someone to play with  
>Instead of bombing our neighbors<br>-The Kooks_

Tom knows he has to let her go, but as he looks at her sleeping form he can't deny he feels a stab of pain in his heart.

She was kind, beautiful, wonderful. She had been his only connection to magic during the summer holidays. She _loved _him. The only person on this whole entire planet that loved him.

But he had a destiny.

And he had decided he would fulfill that. But he couldn't bear to drag Myra into such a dark world. Taint her soul like that, he just couldn't.

He knows that. He just wishes it would make this less hard.

He looks at her face one last time, drinking it all in. Knowing that, if everything goes according to plan, he will never see her again.

"_Obliviate" _he whispers hoarsely

He sees the blue light coming from his wand. Absorbing all the memories Myra had of Tom Riddle. A single tear slids down his cheek.

The light fades. It is done. If he were to wake her now she wouldn't recognize him. She would just see a man of about her age who looks extremely sleep deprived. She would probably scream.

Their years of… _love _were now gone from her mind. He couldn't take his own memories though.

Myra stirs in her sleep. Taking one last look at her beautiful face, he begins to make his way out of her apartment. Taking all the photos with him on it in the process.

He stands there, in front of the door, a stack of photos with him and Myra in his hand. He looks through them. The one with the both of them smiling in a compartment in the train in second year, the one where he pulled her cute pigtail, the one at Christmas… And then the worst one, they were in Hogsmeade, snow forever falling in the picture, he had his arm around her and she smiled at him adoringly he smiled right back at her occasionally kissing her.

If only he weren't so weak. His body is shaking with controlled sobs.

He could undo it… but would he?

Tom is sitting on the porch of his veranda. Myra is sitting next to him, looking old and wrinkly but he had never found her more beautiful. She is holding his hand and his heart still flutters whenever she touches him. Even after all those years. She stands up, kisses him on the cheek and whispers a soft 'I love you'. He smiles a wrinkly smile. Feeling completely and utterly content.

When she doesn't return after what seems like a long time, Tom is starting to worry.

Surely, she is just watching pictures of their children? There is no need to be afraid. What could happen? When Tom really starts to panic he starts awake.

The bed is empty beside him, feeling very cold. He reaches out to touch her pillow. She's probably taking a shower he decides. What day is it today?

He reaches up to touch his smooth face. He looks at the cabinet next to his bed and finds the stack of photos.

The events of the evening before come flooding back to him. He touches the ring he had took from her, his first horcrux, knowing he would never get to grow old and wrinkly with her for real. His stomach drops slightly and his chest constricts.

He would rip his soul into seven pieces, feeling nothing anymore. And he would clear the world of muggles. That was his goal now.

Making this resolute decision he whispered "_Incendio_" the stack of photos burst into flames.

Leaving his apartment he apparated away to his new life.

If you can call it a life that is.


End file.
